You can’t take people’s grief away but you can help them process what they’re going through. After experiencing a missed miscarriage, I struggle to cope with my own feelings sometimes so I can’t expect others to know how to deal with them too but I have been extremely lucky with the support around me and I admire the way that people have approached my grief. Here’s a few ways that have helped me get this far…
Being an ear
Listening to somebody’s grief will not only try to help you understand what they’re going through but it will give them an escape for their feelings. Talking certainly isn’t easy for everybody but if and when they’re ready, they need somebody who will listen. Simply sit down with them and they’ll share what they’re comfortable with and as long as you let them speak, you’re helping them let it out.
There is no time limit on grief. Don’t just be there for somebody at the beginning then disappear. Check in every now and then to show that you’re still there. It’s a lonely road to take and people don’t always have the strength to reach out. You don’t have to bring up their sadness but be willing to take them as they come. Bad days may become few and far between but a broken heart can hurt forever.
Whether it be, cooking a meal, looking after the children/ pets, doing some household chores etc, finding something that they’ll benefit from and helping out where you can will make a massive difference. The most precious thing you can give someone who is grieving, is your time.
Grief can change somebodies life forever and in turn that person may never be the same. Don’t expect them to just get over it, it’s not going to happen. If they want to cry, be their shoulder. If they want to laugh, be they’re encouragement. Don’t blame them for their actions, it’s all part of the motions they have to feel to reach the other side and with that support, in time, they might just pull back through.
Unfortunately in life, people are dealing with grief every single day. We’re never going to fix it, we just need to have some guidance by someone who is willing to hold a grieving hand.